When Journaling Doesn't Feel Good or Easy, Part 1 of 4: Perfectionism & Performance
A four part series on understanding & releasing blocks to a liberatory, nourishing, creative practice, with corresponding podcast episodes
"Why am I compelled to write?... Because the world I create in the writing compensates for what the real world does not give me. By writing I put order in the world, give it a handle so I can grasp it. I write because life does not appease my appetites and anger... To become more intimate with myself and you. To discover myself, to preserve myself, to make myself, to achieve self-autonomy." --Gloria E. Anzaldúa
Journaling, like any creative practice, reflects the context of our lives and the experiences that shape us. Many people who engage with Journal As Altar workshops and other offerings share that they experience blocks to their creative practice - and often these blocks make their attempts at creativity feel anxiety producing, overwhelming, disappointing, and even bring up past trauma or abuse. In these instances, it feels decidedly not good and not easy to engage in a journaling or paper craft practice; it doesn’t offer nervous system ease. Of course this work focuses on journaling / paper craft. But really, these experiences can be present for people engaging in any type of self care and/or creative expression. There is much to explore about all of the ways that social conditioning and oppressive norms contribute to these blocks. I want YOU to know that I believe in your ability to talk openly with your blocks, encourage them to move out of the way, and get to a creative practice that does feel good to you; a nourishing and liberatory practice can be yours. I want that for you.
**If you are not currently experiencing blocks to your creative practice, cheers!!! We often have ups and downs - you can file these posts away for if and when the blocks (henceforth referred to as “The Blocks”) creep in. And, I invite you to share in the comments how you currently maintain free and happy access to your creative practice with the This Page is a Portal community. We love to hear it!**
For now though, I want YOU to know that I believe in your ability to talk openly with your blocks, encourage them to move out of the way, and get to a creative practice that does feel good to you; a nourishing and liberatory practice can be yours. I want that for you.
I’ve organized The Blocks around four themes, based on what our peers have shared with me in the Journal As Altar space (and of course informed by my own experience with creativity, and including what I learned from my years as a therapist).
The Blocks:
Perfectionism & Performance
The What If’s
Time & Energy
Experiences with Abuse and Betrayal